Millennials Are Giving Up On Marriages and 9-to-5 Jobs for THIS Reason

Billimarie Lubiano Robinson
4 min readJul 19, 2022

Don’t believe the hype — it’s not about freedom or commitment issues. The truth is actually a lot simpler than that.

Sunset in the desert, pink clouds, light blue and yellow skies, the creosote bushes covering the field as far as the eye can see. A peaceful horizon. Photograph for the “For Every Star, A Tree” movement.
Photo by the author. (For Every Star, A Tree)

I came across an article by a man who has been married for 5 years and has been tied down to his job for 10 years. That’s right: 10 years straight.

He claims that our generation is giving up on marriage and 9–5 jobs for two reasons:

  • the “Freedom of Choice” paradigm
  • the “No Strings Attached” mindset

As someone who is not in a 5 year marriage nor in a 10 year job, here’s exactly why this thinking is wrong, and what companies — or those who are marriage-minded — should realize, instead.

None of us are commitment-phobic. We’re all just bored of the same old bullshit.

Browse any advice column, Twitter thread, or subreddits (r/relationship_advice, r/antiwork) and you’ll quickly get tired of the same toxic themes with the same recurring cast of characters, playing out the same storylines — over and over again.

Your lover cheated on you? Might have been a novelty of the previous generations, but with our internet childhood? Please. We’ve heard — and discussed — it all.

Your boss doesn’t respect your work-life boundaries? Yawn. We’ve seen this movie play out an infinite number of times in an infinite number of industries.

The relationship between one’s boss or spouse has the potential to be magical, I’m sure. I also believe it can be safe and comforting, in a way, as well — which is why so many people make the decision to stay.

But for those of us who have decided to leave, there are a few different truths at play:

  1. We’re not being challenged — so we leave to find a new adventure.
  2. We’re terrified of failing — so we leave before that ever happens.
  3. In the words of the infamous Tracy Chapman — “Give me one reason to stay here.” When no such reason emerges? We dip.

I’m sure there’s already a thinkpiece that tackles the intricate childhood-adulthood link between monotony and achievement, so I’ll…

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